Finding Excuses to Be Alone
The very air is a cage,
liberate your blood from your veins,
look close you’ll find a chain,
steel or flesh it’s the same.
when your addiction gets up and follows you around,
when it leaves your room and stands behind you on the street,
when it pulls your eyes away from those you want to meet,
it’ll be the lover for whom any lies you’d gladly speak.
A complete break from what I’ve been taught,
the only thing I’ve been so far is what I’m not,
it’s like I don’t even have the tools to see,
a part of any of this that could possibly be me.
she looked in the mirror and it was a camera,
images were captured to placate a captive,
they told lies about the nature of her desire,
it told the truth about me,
lies told the truth about me.
Mom, is it okay if I come to see you, it’s been months and I’m scared of what I might become.
Give up your connection to others,
for a moment of escape from a life,
I won’t lift one finger to change,
I’m rotting away